HISTORIAN'S COLUMN

A. Ephremides

One aspect of the history of the Society's activities is of course the long series of Symposia, workshops, and other meetings that have taken place over the last fifty years and have brought together various subsets of us for interaction, communication, and fellowship. A great deal of technical information exchange has taken place during these meetings and most of the fundamental developments in our field have been fostered at these conferences. However, when scores or hundreds of people get together in one location for several days, there are other, more basic, functions and events that also take place to support their less lofty, yet equally important, needs and desires.

Today, I would like to focus on one of these "human needs" which is as central to the nourishment of the body, as our technical sessions are to the nourishment of our minds. It simply concerns food! Over the years there have been thousands of communal meals that have provided sustenance to our conference attendees. Personally, I have no difficulty suppressing in me any suggestion that this topic might be perceived as frivolous or flippant. Much before the hippie leader's pronouncement in the sixties that "you are what you eat", it was Hippocrates himself who said "let thy mind be thy food and thy food be thy mind". Popular folklore in many parts of the world points out that "you won't make the monkey perform unless you feed him first" and I would paraphrase this by saying that you can't do good research if you are poorly fed. I need, though, to point out in this time of plenty that by "poorly fed" I am not referring to quantity but rather to quality.

Like most of us, I have had my share of bad meals at technical meetings. The pressure of standardization (alas, for any line of products) has produced certain despicable culinary combinations that dominate conference fodder nowadays (especially in the United States). I know that, at least subconsciously, most of us would like to suppress memories of such needs, but let me refresh your memory. Uncooked, yet strongly "soft" ,vegetables (like cauliflower, carrots, etc.), served alongside heavily colored, flavorless, but calorie rich dips, iceberg lettuce leaves, the legendary "fruit cup" (right out of the can), minestrone soup, the (aagh!) "rubber" chicken breast, that has undergone a series of irradiation-induced transformations (from sickly, hormone-rich, force-fed bird, to rotting carcass, to electrocuted parts, to microwaved end product), with boiled green beans and rice, the "gooey" thick brownie, and the glass of "iced tea", which is mainly ice sprinkled with a yellowish brown liquid, all constitute the "ultimate" conference meal and attest to the glory of the institutionalized meal served proudly by the food industry.

Fortunately, the meetings of the Information Theory Society have not been plagued by as atrocious fare as that; but some meals have come close. An outstanding example of shameless assault on our taste buds has been the series of meals at the 1985 ISIT in Brighton. England has been much maligned about the blandness of its traditional food, but I beg to disagree. Fine game birds, excellent lamb, dover sole, wonderful cheeses, and the legendary English breakfast constitute compelling evidence of repudiation of this public misconception. However, the meals at the hotel Metropole in Brighton did
nothing to dispel the ugly reputation of British food.

The road to mediocre food is very slippery. There are a few simple steps that assure the establishment of a secure base from which one can safely plunge to the depths of nutritional mediocrity and neutralized taste capability. First and foremost is the rule of selecting the lowest bidder. This assures that your fish will be nondescript frozen white fillets (thawed for your convenience), your meat will be overcooked lumps or slices of tough beef, your strawberries will be pear-size, white, and hardened, your sauces will come right from the bottle, your salads will consist of hormone-cured large green leaves with acrid vinaigrettes, and your desserts will be mainly "aged", flour-rich, jam-filled pies.

The next rule is to plan meals for huge groups and for minimal duration. This leads to "efficient", lean- and mean-service, "buffets", and pre-cooked stale food. Another rule is to either consider that alcohol accompanying a meal is sinful (and, hence, leads to colas, "f(l)ab" drinks, and the aforementioned iced tea) or to allow for "generic" wines (like "jug" chablis, burgundy, or (God forbid) "blush" wine). And the last rule is to persuade people that they should forget about their meals as quickly as possible (the culinary equivalent to "celibacy") since, after all, you only eat because you have to in order to stay alive (would such a life be worth living is a deeper, philosophical question that eludes the scope of this column).

I am afraid that many of these rules are increasingly followed in the organization of conference meals and are gradually intruding into the meetings of our Society. But there have been "counterexamples" to this trend that constitute moments of glory in our history. To balance the gloom that can set in from the review of bad meals, let me remember for you some of these brighter moments. The banquet at the 1979 ISIT in Grignano shines in my memory as a fine example where champions of elegant fare prevailed and served us a fine, multi-star meal. The banquet in Budapest in 1991 was also a fine example of what human talent can accomplish in food preparation. Even as recently as 1994 (in Trondheim) the sumptuous, multi-access buffet was almost sinful! The only way to resolve the congestion around the serving table was to make aggressive use of your elbows. Strangely (and disappointingly), the banquet at the 1981 ISIT in LesArcs was much below expectations. And, unfortunately (but as expected), most of the banquet menus at the ISITs that were held in the United States were typical results of the standardized process of food preparation.

One can dwell on this subject in as much detail as one desires (and I can certainly go on without bound and without need of prodding). However, the point of this column is simply to alert the members of our community (who, as a group, have displayed a much higher standard of food appreciation than other professional groups) to resist the pervasive imposition of bad food (or, even worse, "ersatz" or phony "good" food). As with every human endeavor, the fight against the tyranny of the institutionalized palate can only profit from the study of history. Keeping records (and scores) of nutrition quality over the years provides a useful database and good training for future ... consumption. It may be a losing fight (the pressures are enormous). But the glory (and the pleasure) is in the strife.